Haul from the Queen City Bookstore Sidewalk Sale. I maaaaay have bought all of the good comics.
"I need a one-word suggestion."
"No proper nouns, please."
"Um, it’s actually an Elvish curse word referring to a half-orc’s secondary anus."
"The one below their nose."
"Oh, right right right. Like, orc mouths are buttholes because they’re always talking shit."
Excuse: “Fuck you.”
Excuse: “We’re divorced.”
From the #ReturnOfTheJedi Wikipedia page. Holy shit, what I wouldn’t give to see either or both of those.
"Larry, I understand that no one could have foreseen yesterday’s freak cum storm, but you could have gotten the fucking car washed."
An actual comment card from a test screening of one of my favorite movies, David Cronenberg’s magnum opus, Videodrome.
I fucking love this so much. Something twisted inside me aspires to this. I want the people who get the things I do to love them, and the people who don’t to despise them.
Now this is a religion I can back. Hail Tacolord! Hail Lady Margarita! I shall be succulent and well-marbled, with just the right amount of spice.
"As Jesus said, when I was hungry, you screamed in my face and chanted USA. When I was thirsty, you screamed in my face and chanted USA. And when I was a child thousands of miles from her mother or father trying to escape a failed state, you said, ‘Who’s going to pay for them? What kind of criminality will happen? The Democrats are making it easy for them to come here so they can produce more Democratic voters.’
Boom! Got it in one!
I’ve known you long enough to know that you won’t ever change, but seriously, Cannibal Corpse. Don’t ever change.